Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Boobs are out for the taking
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
