dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
