It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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