just tell him i said nine months
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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