he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
