Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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