I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Come see our sink grown plant.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
