areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
