Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
