Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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