According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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