Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i drank out of a bidet.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
