It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
