My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
