There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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