i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize