so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
