how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
