sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
40s are totally the cure
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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