Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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