I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
