And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
