whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
