dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
