I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
3pm strippers are depressing
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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