I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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