It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize