Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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