last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
