remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
