Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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