I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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