me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
