dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
