its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
