Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
