Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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