If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
