Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize