i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
