I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
