That's intense
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
