dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
