Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
