I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
