Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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