I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
