i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
