i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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