you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
