??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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