I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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