haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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