He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How does it feel to date your dad?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
