EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
