i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
