I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
This house was built for laser tag.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Randomize
