There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
