The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
