Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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